First Published on Into Heartbreak and Back on January 16, 2014

I woke up this morning with such a heaviness in my chest I felt like my heart was going to drop through my body, rip through my chest like an anchor out onto the bed.  I was in the fetal position, tight like a ball.  My shoulders curled into each other like magnets.  Pain.

I am supposed to wake-up in another hour and start my day.  I don’t know how.  At this moment I do not know how to exist.  How do I exist today?

Where are you in this God? Where did you go? Please, I am begging you to lift this, change my feelings, anything!  They say “hallelujah” means “God save us now.”


sunset over ranch

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