First Published on Into Heartbreak and Back on January 16, 2014

And I miss you.  I hate not texting you or hearing from you throughout the day.  I miss your voice and your sweet eyes.  I miss your puns and your silly jokes.  I miss your rantings and the way your thoughts connect and lead into the next.  I like your random facts and the way you would patiently explain things to me.  I miss being in your presence.  From the first time I felt just a calmness in my soul that I had never felt before.  I felt safe.  Safe to be alone with you.  Safe to be vulnerable.  Freedom to be me and every side of me.  You used to be my war council.  I hate that you can no longer be that person to me.  I hate that I no longer feel safe.  I hate that I became so afraid to buy bread at the store for fear I would buy the wrong one.  That’s not right.  That is not healthy.

And I hate me for missing you.  You hurt me and I miss you.  I hate that you don’t love me.  That you don’t think about me.  That you could so easily stop talking to me.  And I miss you.

I am a mess.  I am such a mess.  And you are right, nobody wants that.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.