My Decision to Stay

First Published on Into Heartbreak and Back on January 16, 2014

“The moment you fall in love feels like it has centuries behind it, generations—all of them rearranging themselves so that this precise, remarkable intersection could happen. In your heart, in your bones, no matter how silly you know it is, you feel that everything has been leading to this, all the secret arrows were pointing here, the universe and time itself crafted this long ago, and you are just now realizing it, you are just now arriving at the place you were always meant to be.” -David Levithan

I love him.  I really, really love him.  And my love for him is one of the most beautiful things I experience.  I have in my journal all the reasons I love this man but most of it … this love, I can’t explain or put into words that do it justice.  So many people when asked how they knew that is the person they were to be with reply with “you just know.”  And I will say… that is true.  But what happens when the other person doesn’t “know” back?  Does it make my love not real or invalid or mistaken?  I don’t believe so.

Round about a month ago “I looked in the mirror and decided to stay.”  I took pictures as proof of my decision to look at when I think about changing my mind.  I look at them more often than I would like to admit.  And this might be cheese, but I feel super brave sharing them.

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keep kind and carry on

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