Okay. I do not know if I am going to be able to express what I am wanting to in the way I want to. But I am going to do my best.
There are people who have your back have your back. And then there are people who are good people and good friends/family who have your back….but not really. They have your back but not if it does not benefit them. The moment they can take advantage, manipulate or throw you under the bus they will. Maybe not on purpose, maybe not with the intent to cause harm. But when it comes down to the core – they don’t do the right thing. They do what benefits them the most. They don’t come through. They don’t do you a solid.
I must have walked through my life thus far with a big sign on my head screaming, “Take advantage of me! I will take it and not say a word!” And that is 100% my issue.
But no more.
I will take no more. On any level. I believe in forgiveness but forgiveness does not mean my time and energy and another opportunity to take me down. So friends, just putting it out there, if you are “going to have my back” -then have my back. If not, I love you and I wish you only goodness. Because this girl has been through too much sh** this year to knowingly put herself through any more. Boundaries. I now have boundaries.
The other day my therapist challenged me to be the leader in loving myself. Having more firm boundaries of what treatment I will tolerate is loving myself. In fact, it is more than that. It is respecting myself. It is loving and respecting the people around me. Brene Brown has said, “The most compassionate people that I’ve ever interviewed… happened to be the most boundaried. They happened to be the people who had very, very clear boundaries about what they were willing to do, what they were not willing to do, what they were willing to take on, and what they were not willing to take on. One of the things that shifted for me, was this idea that maybe everyone – myself included – maybe everyone’s doing the best they can. But sometimes, that means that I don’t have to engage.”
To those of you who have my back have my back. Thank you. You have no idea how much I have needed you. You have kept me alive. If I never have the chance to repay you I know Karma will. You have a lot of good coming your way.
Keep Calm and Carry On. xoxo