First Published on Into Heartbreak and Back on February 20, 2014
I am tired. I am tired of feeling. I am tired of not feeling. I am tired of caring and tired of not caring. I can’t seem to figure myself out these days. I am living on a ledge. Sleeping on a ledge. My long deep breaths seem empty. I know my irritability and my numbness is part of my depression but it feels so uncontrollable. I hate myself for still loving and wanting you but on the other hand the love I feel for you is one of the joys of my life.
I have been a mess since you called me two weeks ago. I feel like I have back tracked. I feel so overwhelmed and I do not know what to do. I want to see you and puppy so terribly awfully bad and yet I am scared to. I am so scared.
I feel so unlovable and unwanted. I feel ugly. I am angry and confused. I keep trying to get back to myself but I can’t find her. I can’t find. Not even sure if that girl is worth finding anymore. Where has my faith gone?
One moment this song expresses so clearly what I feel for you and at the same time I want to take a bat to your truck.