First Published on Into Heartbreak and Back on January 27, 2014
I have a thing for swings. I love them. They are healing to me. It was a beautiful day. You picked me up from the airport. It was a Sunday. You took me home and then we went to R’s primary program together. You teased me in the hall. During the program I scratched your back. When I stopped you took my hand and returned it to your back so I would continue. Haha. Then on the way home we stopped and bought me tamales from a lady on the side of the road simply because you knew that I loved them. That moment our eyes connected and held when you lifted me back into the truck lives on in my heart. We took a nap at my house and then we stopped at the farm. You pushed me on that swing for about 45 minutes. Then you took me home with you. I had no clothes. Nothing. But you took me home with you and you held me all night. It was lovely.
Weeks later I was having a hard time. You took me to “the land of the swings.” You put me on several different swings and pushed me forever. I can still feel the sunlight on my face.
What happened to us? What changed? Did I do something? I don’t think I did anything that would warrant such a 180 change in your behavior toward me.
I am grieving that loving man that you were once to me. I know he is still in you. He is there. You are just going through something right now. What ever girl is there when you are loving and whole again is a lucky girl.
I hope that lucky girl is me.
I just want to be by your side. If these wings could fly. For the rest of our lives.
It made me think of you. This song. The swings. This song is for you. I am singing to you.